Trapped in Fear: The Day My Body Stopped Obeying Me

 

Imagine waking up one day and losing control over your own body. Your hands won’t obey, your face twitches involuntarily, and panic tightens its grip around your mind. What if this isn’t temporary? What if this is your new reality?

The Unexpected Reaction

It all started when I was diagnosed with malaria. The doctor prescribed the usual medications, but my body had a different response. Within hours, I felt something was wrong. My hands twitched uncontrollably, my fingers stiffened, my face muscles moved on their own—completely beyond my control. Panic set in. Was I having a stroke? Was this permanent?

We rushed to the doctor, who assured me it was just an allergic reaction. "Nothing to worry about," they said, handing me an antidote and telling me to rest. They would tweak my medication in a couple of days. And just like that, my rational mind should have been at ease. But fear doesn’t work that way.

The Bigger Fear: What If I Never Recovered?

I was the sole breadwinner of my family. My husband had taken jobs that required him to be away, and I was responsible for our survival. Teaching was my life, and my hands were my tools. If they didn’t work, how would I write on the blackboard? How would I teach? How would we manage life?

That fear gripped me harder than the allergic reaction itself. When the doctor said I needed to continue taking a different set of malaria medicines for complete eradication, my first thought wasn’t relief—it was sheer terror. What if this new medicine caused the same reaction? What if next time, it didn’t go away?

I asked the doctor if I would get the allergy again. He shrugged, "We won’t know until you take it. You reacted badly to a common medicine, but this one should be fine." Should. That word hung in my mind like a death sentence. I told him, "Better I don’t take the medicine at all."

He looked at me, serious. "Then be prepared for malaria to come back. The germs aren’t fully eradicated. Your choice—take the risk of allergy or take the risk of relapse."

The Fear That Paralyzed Me

That evening, I sat at the dinner table, staring at the pill. I couldn’t move my hands to pick up my fork. I told my husband I wasn’t hungry. My body was already reacting to the medicine—except I hadn’t even taken it yet. My brain had convinced itself that something terrible would happen.

By chance, a friend called me. She asked how I was feeling, and I told her everything. She listened patiently and then said something that flipped everything around: "You’re smart enough to know this might not happen again. Your fear is what’s stopping you, not the medicine."

She didn’t force me. She just gave me a plan. "Sleep now. Don’t take it tonight. In the morning, have breakfast, take the medicine, and I’ll be there in case anything happens. If something does, we’ll go straight to the doctor. But if nothing happens, then your fear was the only enemy."

The Moment of Truth

The next morning, I woke up determined. I followed the plan. I took the medicine. And then I waited. Nothing happened. No twitching. No paralysis. No loss of control.

The fear that had gripped me so tightly for days had no power over me anymore. My brain had created a prison, and I had unknowingly locked myself inside it. But the moment I took action, the walls crumbled.

The Lesson: How Fear Can Control Our Actions

Fear isn’t confined to one situation—it exists everywhere. For some, it’s fear of failure, for others, it’s fear of judgment, and for some, it becomes overwhelming enough to make them feel like there’s no escape. While the outcomes may differ, our reactions to fear are often the same—paralysis, avoidance, and sometimes even despair. But if we learn to challenge it, we can shift the narrative. The way we respond to fear determines whether we let it control us or whether we reclaim our power.

If fear ever becomes too overwhelming, talk to someone reliable—a friend, a mentor, or even a professional. You don’t have to face it alone. Seeking guidance and perspective can help break the cycle of fear and move forward.

Fear isn’t confined to one situation—it exists everywhere. For some, it’s fear of failure, for others, it’s fear of judgment, and for some, it becomes overwhelming enough to make them feel like there’s no escape. While the outcomes may differ, our reactions to fear are often the same—paralysis, avoidance, and sometimes even despair. But if we learn to challenge it, we can shift the narrative. The way we respond to fear determines whether we let it control us or whether we reclaim our power.

This experience taught me something profound: sometimes, fear isn't about real danger. It’s about the mind playing tricks on us. When fear takes over, it can feel as real as any physical threat. But the only way to break free is to take action, no matter how small.

Fear blocks action. Action breaks fear.

So, the next time your brain tells you can’t do something—pause and ask yourself: is it really impossible, or is it just fear speaking? And then, take that first step forward.

Have you ever faced a moment where fear tried to control your decisions? 

How did you overcome it?

 Share your experience—I’d love to hear your thoughts.

(Stay tuned for the podcast episode where I dive deeper into this experience and how fear impacts our daily lives!)  Trapped in Fear